It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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