just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
