hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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