Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
