I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
