the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
