I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
