In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you will always have a special place in my vag
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
