No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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