he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize