We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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