Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
