update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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