You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
