As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
