Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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