The maid of honor just puked.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
