hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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