you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize