I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
