Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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