what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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