Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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