Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
MIDGETS
????
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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