i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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