What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
