so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
