She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
