yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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