I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
