hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
