If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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