when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's Friday. Sex?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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