Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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