i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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