i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
its not stalking. its research.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
