dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
