There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize