I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
