so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it's great music for shaving your balls
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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