My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
