So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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