I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
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