So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
