In the future we'll all be gay
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he shaved USA in his pubs
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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