is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
