I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think I just sharted jello shots
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
