i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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