I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My vagina is officially offended.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
