hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
