do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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