sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
