8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
