the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The feeling are messing with the penis
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
