I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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