I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
