im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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