My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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