The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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