I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize