She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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